Hello lovelies!
For this next post in celebration of Valentine's Day Week, I will be talking about the different types of stepping stones your characters can have before falling in love. Previous to any romantic feelings start to grow, there is typically a different kind of relationship first, whether superficial or deep. This should be a really fun!
The bond your characters have before becoming romantically involved will be the foundation of their relationship, and will have an impact to how they deal with their feelings of love, and any romantic relationship they may have later.
So, this will be one of the most important puzzle pieces in building a romance in your story. Let's look at the possibilities!
-Arrangement: From dates set up by mutual friends, to family arranging an engagement, the point is that the characters in this situation already meet under the impression that a possible relationship could come from this. This means that, should you pick this scenario, your characters will pay much closer attention to each other than they would encountering and getting to know any other person.
They may already be imagining a life with this person, or simply critique them on the surface to see whether they want a second date, but any of each other's traits will be viewed under 'potential partner' goggles in some capacity. You also have to think about how happy your characters are about the arrangement. If they are unhappy or unwilling, they will put more focus on the negative traits of the other, or anything that may go wrong during the relationship. If they are happy or excited about it, they may do the opposite and focus on the positives instead. If they are neutral, the whole thing, it may be seen through more rational eyes and 'let's just see where this goes' mentality.
-Friendship: If your characters are friends before falling in love, it means that not only is there already a clear foundation of trust, but they will also not have the 'getting to know you' phase most other relationships have. There is comfort and familiarity between them from the very start. However, the characters may still be nervous and scared to ruin the bond they have by entering the relationship, since romantic feelings are more hectic and unpredictable than platonic ones. A good romantic relationship is not that different from a friendship with extra steps. So, while your characters may have skipped several levels of building a bond together, they could still be unsure of how to act around each other now that feelings of love are involved. It's also possible that characters start showing a completely different side of themselves once they start a romantic relationship, which completely surpirses and/or blindsides the other. In this case, you could implement some tension as to 'who is the real them', but also address some qualities the characters have always possessed, but were simply dormant until then.
-Mutual experience: What is one of the quickest ways to bond with someone? That's right, having a mutual experience! This could be a range of things, such as being in the same store while a robbery was going on, or both having grown up in a small town. The point is, there is something similar in both their histories, which allows the characters to relate to one another in some way. This isn't necessarily what their entire bond is based on, but it's a very effective tool to start building one, and for the characters to start opening up to one another. However, the way they open up and start trusting each other, will depend on the type of mutual experience. If it's negative or traumatic in some way, the character may use sharing and talking about it as a form of healing. If it's something positive or a happy memory, they may bond over mutual fondness and/or nostalgia like one would over one's hobbies.
-Nostalgia: Maybe the characters have started a new life, maybe they were forced away to an unkown place, but unfortunately, they have found it's not as good as the memories they have of home or the life they once knew. Maybe they even used to be in a relationship, but it broke down and it's been some time since they have seen them, but they still miss them. Then they meet someone from that past life, who also come from that same home, or possibly the person they used to have a relationship with, and a small piece of happiness comes back to them. However, how healthy or truly happy this is depends on you. Maybe having a taste of nostalgia helps ground the characters again and gives them a clearer vision of what they want,, or maybe it turns out they have been looking at their past with rose-coloured glasses and need to confront some things about how they remember things. The latter is even more the case if they meet a past relationship partner, since there must be a reason their romance ended. If they both want to rekindle anything, those issues need to be resolved.
-Novelty: The opposite of the nostalgia stepping stone, in this case the characters may be stuck in a routine or lifestyle which has been droning on, devoid of surprise or excitement. They also may be part of a community or family with a strict set of rules, which they either can't or have never thought of breaking free from. But then they meet someone who completely challenges all of it and brings new energy into their lives. They may be someone new coming to live in the community, or who lives in a way that is against everything the character has ever known. Much like the nostalgia, however, how healthy this is, is up to you. Maybe the environment your character has lived in up until now is toxic, constricting, or non-stimulating, in which case this novelty can bring out a better, happier side to them. Or maybe, the environment they live in is a good, moral, albeit boring space, and this new person could bring unknown dangers to both themselves and others around them.
-Physical first: While not adviseable by most, you may choose to have your characters first be in a physical relationship, which then proceeds to be a romantic one as well. This could be a friends with benefits situation, or just a regular hook-up with no strings attached. However, if you choose this road for your characters to take, be aware that this is a slippery slope. It's easy to fall into the 'sex can't be without emotion' mindset or for the pair to become moralising in some way, instead of portraying an actual relationship that simply began in a non-traditional way. The characters may meet or start out in a sexual context, but start to have feelings for each other once they begin to get to know each other in other ways as well. This may be because they starting meeting outside this context as well, or they may even not have seen each other for some time and the sexual relationship was something of the past.
-Rivalry: Don't you hate it when someone that annoys you or constantly challenges you starts looking kind of hot? Or you find out that apart from being a thorn in your side, they are also kind and helpful to their friends? Doesn't that just screw with your entire view of them? A rivalry between characters can be a lot of things. It could be because they are very different people and they annoy each other on principle, or that they are both striving towards the same price. This may have lead them to not see each other as 'another human being', but a rival to be conquered, not to be sympathized with. You can then choose to have circumstances force them to see each other differently. These circumstances may be that they are forced to work together, like on a project or in a moment of danger. or they may find themselves in a scenario where their rivalry is made insignificant, because what they want is already taken, doesn't exist in the first place, or turns out to not be the thing they want after all. This then allows space for them to notice other qualities about each other, so they can begin building a different, more intimate bond.
-Working partners: This is similar to having your characters be friends first, in that there is already a level of familiarity and trust between them. However, in contrast to friendship, the foundation of their relationship is a professional one, and therefore more in danger when it comes to romantic intentions. The consequences of entering a relationship, or even having any kind of feelings of love for someone your characters work with can not only complicate each other's lives, but also the lives of everyone else in the workplace. Just how complicated depends on the environment and how strict the rules related to their jobs are, but it is something to be taken into account should you choose to write this kind of romance. On the other hand, since these characters have primarily seen each other in a work environment, having them meet and build a relationship outside of that can lead to many happy surprises, as they get to know each other on a deeper level. People act differently in a casual setting than they would in a work setting, so exploring the relationship between these characters as their more 'casual selves' can add a level of novelty to their bond.
Well, I hope this has been helpful in some way to you all, and that the next step in building the romance in your book has been made a little easier.
Let me know if there is anything you would like me to cover in the future!
Goodbye, lovelies!
Comentários